My Journey with mental health has been life long, and I have battled suicidal ideation throughout growing up and into adulthood, with the genuine belief it would just always play a central role in who I was.
Suicidal ideation was a battle I didn’t want to be fighting or even understand that it was one I could win, but the suicide of a close friend in 2018 and the sudden development of my anxiety into a full blown chronic illness & panic disorder in 2019 (that kept me housebound for 4 years) which made me decide to turn my attention inward, journey into my life and history and really discover what was happening inside.
Over the period where my illness and panic were at their worst I searched out guidance and discovered a world of men who were actually discussing what was going on in their minds and hearts in an authentic way that helped me start speaking from a place of truth. It was through this work with a coach and various communities that I started to reshape my life, find love for myself & eventually start to gain some more control over the panic I had developed.
Working on my mental health is something I do consistently, but at one point I didn’t even understand that work needed to be done, or that I had the power to do it. I am here because of friend who have held me when I wasn’t able to hold myself and because of a community of men willing to guide me, hold space and allow me to discover me. That is why working with Helpu is so important to me. It introduces men who are facing suicidal thoughts and/or mental health issues to a world that they may not have known is there for them before, and it brings together a world of stories and tools help Welsh men learn, understand & ultimately grow from.